Saturday, March 15, 2008

Racism Is Over! Didn't You Get the Memo?

My... my... my... What a week! Didn't Clinton supporter Geraldine Ferraro and former Obama spiritual advisor Reverend Jeremiah Wright get the news? Racism is OVER! Why even mention black or white when racism is just duh-duh-duh-done in this country?

Rev. Wright was Rev. Wrong! Geraldine Ferraro was Genuine Bizarro. Both for the simple reason we American's don't see black or white anymore! And the reason why these stories have been so huge in the national news cycle is that the majority of us good Americans are filled with shock and awe that Ferraro and Rev. Wright didn't get the memo. You say neither did you? Well, here's a copy:
Memo To: America
Subject: Race in America
From: The Powers That Be

You as a good American will no longer see Race. Racism is dead.


The Powers That Be
Isn't that wonderful? No longer do we have to "Fight the Powers That Be" as Public Enemy once suggested in their lyrics. We have the memo.

The question is, what should you do when you encounter someone who did not get the "Racism is Dead; American's Don't See Color" memo? Do what I do, let them know about it. Carry copies to hand out when needed.

For example, the other day I was on an elevator by myself, the doors opened and a woman (possibly white but I'm not sure because as per memo I no longer see color) looked afraid to get on with me. I told her, "Hey, didn't you get the memo?"

I handed her a copy which she quickly read. Next thing I knew we were alone on the elevator and spent our time between P1 and floor 28 talking about the weather and Brittany Spears.

I've given the memo to bankers to get "unapproved" loans changed to "approved." I've given the memo to a Maitre D' and gone from a table by the kitchen to being seated up front by the window. I've even given the memo to black women who only date white guys and gotten laid! (Yes the memo was released long before I got married or even met my future wife!)

My experience is that when shown the memo, most American's obey the memo. We just need to get the memo around to as many of our fellow Americans as possible.


Rusty said...

Hey Rusty, I followed you over here from CommicMix. This is very funny. I didn't remember getting the memo, but I have it now. Thanks.

Does the magic of the memo work as well for pasty white guys? I know, since the memo and the whole not noticing, how can you tell!


New American Negro said...

Hey Rusty

I got confused when I got your post because I thought I had emailed myself!

But the magic of the memo should work for pasty white guys as well. Keep it with you for those times you might be interacting with potential non-pasty racists who might be out of the loop!

Rusty said...

Hey Rusty,

You hadn't emailed yourself. My name is "Russ Rogers" but I am a children's entertainer and have a show called, "Rusty's Rocking Jamboree!" I've been a "Rusty" all my life. But I stopped signing my homework as "Rusty" around the sixth grade. I've been rocking out with "Rusty's Rocking Jamboree" for about 5 years now.

Rock on,

PS: Thanks for the info about the memo! I'll be sure to use it when I feel I'm being oppressed for being so pasty white. I have to admit, it doesn't happen often.